Carlos Kaiser: The Greatest Footballer Never to Play Football
Carlos Kaiser: The Supposed Star Footballer That Never Played a Game!
Football scam artist Carlos Kaiser
Carlos Kaiser has one of the most fascinating stories in football.
A con artist immortalised in film - how exactly did Kaiser pull off such a long-running scam?
The Brazilian-born striker made a career out of conning clubs into thinking he was a legitimate professional, getting out of showcasing his talent, or lack thereof, by feigning injuries and getting himself sent off.
Kaiser was a bona fide conman who played for 10 different sides in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s without making a single appearance.
He wanted to be a footballer without playing football - and went to extreme lengths to continue the ruse.
“I wanted to be among the other players. I just didn’t want to play. It’s everybody else’s problem if they want me to be a footballer. Not even Jesus pleased everybody. Why would I?”
His incredible story was immortalised in a 2018 film detailing Kaiser’s long-running scam.
A book about the Brazilian, titled ‘Kaiser: The Greatest Footballer Never to Play Football’ was published that same year - and The Sporting Blog couldn’t resist covering it!
Here’s the story of the fake footballer who never played football.
Kaiser’s Failure at Youth Level
Carlos Henrique Raposo was born in Porto Alegre, Rio de Janeiro on April 2, 1963. He was headhunted by Botafogo (1972/73) before turning 10 and would move on to Flamengo (1973 - 1979) a year later.
Kaiser did have ability as a child and he spent years with the Brazilian giants before being released by age 16.
He was picked up by Mexican outfit Puebla after impressing scouts in training, but he lasted only months before his release.
Kaiser didn’t play a game for La Franja, and it was this moment that led the Brazilian to fake a career for a living.
Kaiser took this con incredibly seriously - and he had a smart plan to go undetected for the longest time.
First, he befriended stars of the game, such as Bebeto, Carlos Alberto Torres, Ricardo Rocha, Romario and Renato Gaúcho whom he met in Rio de Janeiro nightclubs. These players could provide recommendations when a club wanted to sign him.
This large network helped his credibility, so he ensured reputable footballers could vouch for him.
Then he would sign a short contract and claim he had poor match fitness, thus spending the first few weeks doing only physical training not technical.
And when it was time to train with teammates, he’d claim he picked up a muscle injury, as technology in the 80s and 90s wasn’t able to detect his fraud.
Kaiser had a good relationship with journalists, so they would write false stories for his benefit. And finally, the striker had a fake mobile phone to give the illusion that he was a valuable player with agents contacting him for lucrative transfers.
During his career, Carolos Kaiser played for:
Puebla
Botafogo (three times)
Flamengo (three times)
Independiente
Bangu (twice)
GFC Ajaccio
Fluminense
El Paso Sixshooters
América (RJ)
A lot of clubs fell for his ruse!
He would claim friends and journalists knew of his con but didn’t out him because they liked him.
The Brazilian was regarded as very charming and a positive influence in the dressing room, so he was popular wherever he played.
Teammates loved to hear his stories and he had big names in the game as acquaintances.
The Scam Begins at Botafogo
Kaiser used his footballer friends to help him get opportunities with professional clubs, and it was networking that helped him bag a three-month trial with Botafogo, six years after his departure as a teenager.
He had a good physique and the fitness of an athlete, so he looked the part early on. But his limitations on the ball would give him away, so that was what he avoided showing.
After weeks of physical training at Botafogo, he was finally given the chance to impress in a match. This was bad news for Kaiser, so he concocted a plan to get out of playing.
He chased a pass and immediately pulled up while clutching his leg. He would claim he tore his hamstring, thus needing weeks to rehabilitate, and medical technology wasn’t able to disprove him.
So the Brazilian was given an extended period to recover, all the while earning money with the first-team players, and building a reputation for himself by faking phone conversations in English with big European clubs and agents.
The jig at Botafogo was up when an English-speaking club doctor realised he couldn’t speak the language and discovered his phone was a toy.
Kaiser was forced to leave and went to another former club – Flamengo.
He would spend two years at the Maracanã, using every trick in the book to prolong his stay and avoid suspicion. And when it was time to go, he didn’t hesitate.
Kaiser used his connections to join a new club and pulled the same move at Flamengo (1981 - 1983) and Independiente (1983 - 1985).
Playing For a Gangster at Bangu
There are endless stories about how Kaiser avoided getting caught at clubs in the past, but Bangu (1985/86 and 1988) is one of the best, after leaving Independiente.
His decision to join the Rio outfit could have had him killed, as he played under feared gangster Castor de Andrade, who owned the club.
Kaiser pulled the same tricks, knowing he put himself at risk of potential violent retribution if seen to be faking, and things almost came to a head in his second year at the club.
There was a lot of media fanfare with Kaiser joining Bangu, so Castor grew frustrated only watching him train.
He requested the Brazilian be in the squad for Bangu’s next match, and he then requested Kaiser came on during the game.
Kaiser knew he would be in danger if Caster saw he wasn’t a professional and he’d be in danger if he refused to come on, so he resorted to getting himself sent off before coming on.
“There were no mobile phones then, so the late coach Moises, who played for Vasco, calls me (at a nightclub) and says, 'Boss man wants you on the bench today.’
I was like, 'It’s 4 in the morning. How am I going to play?' Moises replied, 'No, just stay on the bench. You won’t actually play.'
“After five minutes Curitiba are winning 1-0, then 2-0. After eight minutes Castor radios down to Moises telling him to put me on. And I’m dying (due to a hangover and the heat).
So when I start warming up along the fence, the other fans start calling me names. Then I jump over the fence, start fighting the supporters and get sent off before coming on.”
Away fans were chanting obscenities, so Kaiser got into a fight and was red-carded.
He had to see Castor after the game and told him: “God has taken both my parents away but gave me another father who they accused of being a crook. So I lost it and went for them. But don’t you worry because my contract is up in a week and I’ll be off.”
Castor handed Kaiser a pay rise and contract extension after the incident, so the ruse remained intact…
Playing For Ajaccio
Kaiser left Bangu in 1986 and then spent a year with Ajaccio (1986/87). But he was at risk of being rumbled when fans came to watch his first training session with the French outfit.
The quick-thinking Brazilian opted to kick all the balls into the crowd while blowing kisses, so the players had to undertake physical training as they had no balls for technical work.
He did end up playing for the second-division club and it’s believed he racked up around 30 career appearances over two decades, so he had enough ability to avoid detection at that level.
Kaiser’s incredible documentary reveals how much he loved the Rio nightlife and he made the most of his profile as a footballer without ever working for it.
He was a womaniser and tale-teller who took advantage of no internet and no technology that could rumble him lying about injuries, but players couldn’t get away with it today!
Featured image credits: The Guardian
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